My Forever: An Epic High School Love Story with a Twist Read online

  Copyright © 2021 Krista Pakseresht. All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.

  First edition editing by Joanne LaRe Thompson

  Second edition editing by C. Marie

  Cover designed by Shane Morgan

  The Infinite Love Series

  Learning to Live

  Life After

  My Forever

  Beautifully Broken

  Against All Odds

  Connect with the Author

  www.kiraadamsauthor.com

  facebook.com/KiraAdamsAuthor

  wattpad.com/user/xKiraAdamsx

  goodreads.com/author/show/7179367.Kira_Adams

  amazon.com/Kira-Adams/e/B00KQZ5838

  Blurb:

  Madalynne

  Life can be cruel and unexpected, ripping your heart out when you least expect it. You never think it can be you, and then it happens and you’re left to pick up the pieces of your broken life. I was grieving, understandably so, each stage pushing me further and further from him. There was never a doubt in my mind that Parker and I were soul mates. No one had ever made me feel the way he did, and I didn’t want them to. Through all the hard times, he was there. Parker was the only person I could lean on, the only person I could talk to about my feelings. He pulled me out of my depression. He helped me see the light again.

  Parker

  She was hurting, and I wanted to be there for her. When my brother Bo passed, I slipped into a deep depression, and even though I pushed Madalynne away at every turn, she never gave up on me. I owed her my life, and I wanted to spend the rest of mine making her happy. Even with our connections to others, my love for her never wavered. It was something embedded in my bones, so deeply she would always be a part of me. That’s why I never gave up hope that somehow, someday, we would be together again.

  My Forever is the third book in the Infinite Love series.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  33

  34

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Books by Kira Adams

  “Don’t forget, if you’re not doing something you love, you’re not really living.” –Kira Adams

  Prologue

  There was never a doubt in my mind that Parker was my soul mate. No one had ever made me feel the way he did, and I didn’t want them to. Through all the hard times, he was there, the only person for me to lean on, the only person I could talk to about my feelings. He brought me out of my depression and helped me see the light again.

  She was the girl of my dreams, my best friend, and more. Falling in love with her was a given. In a league of her own, Madalynne always moved to the beat of her own drum. When my brother Bo passed, a deep depression came over me, and even though I pushed Madalynne away at every turn, she never gave up. I owed her my life and wanted to spend the rest of mine making her happy.

  1

  I’ve only experienced the feeling once before, the gripping terror, the beating of my heart ferociously against my chest. I swallow loudly, attempting to clear my ears.

  There is no way.

  I hear the scream before my body registers it and goes barreling toward the noise—toward my mother’s crumpled body in the doorframe.

  Glancing out to the porch, I see a male and female dressed in full military gear staring back at me, their sad expressions hard to miss.

  My legs become Jell-O.

  “He’s not…” As I grip the doorframe for support, arms reach out to hold me steady. I look back thankfully at my best friend.

  “Ma’am, may we come in?” asks the rugged-looking male, a look of sympathy plastered across his face.

  Between my mother’s sobs, my stilted breaths, and the ringing that pierces my ears, I realize nothing will ever be the same again.

  Three weeks later

  “Honey.” My father’s voice carries into my darkened room.

  Silence has become my response, my room my safe haven since…

  I’m surprised he’s home. Ever since the news, he’s been doing his best to stay as far away from my mother as possible. The only reason I know this is the slamming shut of his car door and the roar of his engine every time he peels away.

  It’s always the same.

  My mother blames my father for his passing, basically insinuating he pushed Mason to join the army. He was five years older than me and still my father’s baby. They loved each other more than anything. So what if my father urged him to join the military? Is it a crime to want something better for your child? And plus, I know how much it meant to Mason; he loved making us proud.

  “Parker is downstairs,” my father whispers into the darkness. I almost forgot he was here.

  My breath catches in my throat, my heart beating wildly. It’s funny how just hearing his name affects me. He can’t see me like this.

  I remain still as ever, my back turned to my father, attempting to steady my breathing. Me interacting with Parker while I’m in this state would not be good for either one of us. He’s the love of my life, but I’m not ready.

  Finally, my father sighs heavily before footsteps follow and then my door closes.

  Guilt rakes over me for sending Parker away, but it’s for the best. I’m positive I look like death.

  I quickly turn on my bedside lamp, and it illuminates my small room. I head for my vanity mirror, and the reflection staring back makes me wince. My once lively chocolate eyes are anything but. They appear dull and lifeless. My normal bouncy brown curls stick to my forehead, greasy and flat. My eyes look sunken in from my nearly constant sobbing. No one deserves to see me in such a state, least of all Parker. I run a hand tiredly through my ratty and uncombed mess of hair when my phone vibrates. I pick up the phone and stare at the text message on the screen.

  I know you’re not asleep.

  Way to go Captain Obvious.

  Another comes in. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there, and I forgive you.

  Parker Grant: my boyfriend of three years, best friends since we were babies. We even saw each other naked once when we were five.

  While I’ve always known Parker was my endgame, it took him just a bit longer to develop romantic feelings for me. It wasn’t even until the end of eighth grade that he realized he didn’t like the idea of me with anyone else. We’ve been together ever since.

  The memories remain fresh in my mind: the surprise of Parker crashing my group date, the violent thumping of my heart against my chest as he finally gave in to me. When he lowered his lips to mine the first time, there were fireworks. It was everything I could have imagined and more. Nothing was the same after that; it was better.


  But we have problems like any couple, the deaths in each of our families not only bringing us closer but pushing us apart in other ways. Not too long after Parker and I started dating, I found out about his friendship with Jacqueline, a girl he met online.

  At first, Parker kept their relationship from me, fearful of my reaction. I didn’t let it go lightly. In fact, it almost tore us apart. But Parker means more to me than losing him to some relationship with a girl he’s never even met. I know my worth; I know Parker is my soul mate. So, I fought for him. He told me she helped him with his grief after losing his brother, Bo. I wish I could have been the one there for him through that tough time, but I’m thankful for her nonetheless.

  I allow the friendship to continue in hopes that it will bring Parker and me closer, allowing him to be honest with me about their relationship. And it does. A new trust has formed, tightening our bond with one another.

  You caught me, I type back timidly.

  Please don’t push me away.

  My face falls. That is the last thing I want, but my anger with the world is all-encompassing. I shouldn’t be around anyone.

  I never imagined I’d be the one pushing Parker away…the nightmares of him leaving me have only intensified. I wake up drenched, worried he will wise up and realize we aren’t meant to be.

  Losing Mason felt like being sawed in half. A huge part of myself was lost the day he died. I’m not even sure what I want anymore. Life isn’t appealing.

  The hardest part about all of this is that it’s the second time in a couple of months that I’m losing someone. It was only February when Ciera passed. We weren’t in each other’s lives for long, but she was an amazing person and I was forever changed knowing her. Losing Mason on the heels of losing her is heartbreaking.

  The only thing that makes sense is to burn it all down, everything good I have going for me. Maybe it will bring a spark back, a flame. So that’s exactly what I do.

  “Hey, can I check my email?”

  “Sure,” Parker shouts back from the bathroom.

  I hop onto the chair at his desk and wiggle the mouse to wake up his desktop. The picture of Parker, his brother Bo, me, and my brother Mason when we were just little ones makes me smile.

  I miss you, Bo.

  When I double-click on the internet link, a page pulls up from the bottom of the screen. Parker must have been checking his email. Just as I’m about to close out of it and sign into my own, a female’s name catches my eye: Jacqueline. Who is that?

  The bathroom door shuts and the water turns on. I look hesitantly at the closed door, knowing without a doubt that what I’m about to do is wrong.

  Being able to hear Parker in the shower helps ease my nerves. I scroll through his inbox, making a mental note that there are hundreds of emails exchanged with this female. My heart sinks, nausea rushing over me. I barely got Parker back…and now this? I’m not sure I can take it.

  Clicking on the most recent email, my eyes shift back toward the bathroom door. My heartbeat thumps in my ears, but I try to silence it and listen for the water splashing against the tile. As I close my eyes for a moment, relief washes over me when I hear Parker singing off-key.

  My focus returns to the monitor in front of me. “I miss you,” is all it reads. Losing track of how many times my eyes scan those three words over and over, I feel tears sting the backs of my eyes. It’s addressed to Parker. I swallow deeply, scrolling down anxiously to see what she wrote that in response to…

  “You should move here. I went bowling with my best friend Dylan yesterday, the weather was perfect. Mid-70s, not a cloud in the sky. You would love it. I just kept thinking how much better yesterday would have been if you were there with me…” Coincidentally, I remember this day. It was last week. Dylan, Kendall, Parker and I were all out bowling. The idea that he was thinking of her the entire time makes me sick to my stomach.

  That’s it—I can’t take it. My head falls into my hands, tears racking through my body. The door creaks, breaking me from my sadness.

  “You wanna order a pizza…” Parker comes waltzing out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. He trails off when he sees my expression: a look of sheer horror mixed with the most unbearable pain etched across it.

  My face twists in agony. “Who is she?”

  He’s like a deer caught in headlights. “Maddy,” he begins gently.

  “Who. Is. She?” I barely get the words out between sobs, my heart breaking with every tear.

  “She’s just a friend.”

  “Those emails sounded a lot friendlier than that!” I exclaim angrily.

  “You read my emails?” The accusatory tone pierces through me. He’s right. I only found out about her because I overstepped my boundaries. I’m unsure if I should be angry or sad, if I should feel guilty or wrong.

  “You know what? I think I should go.” Standing up from the computer, I reach for my backpack and throw it over my shoulder.

  “Let me explain.” Parker grabs me by the arm, stopping me from taking another step forward.

  “That could take days,” I hiss. “There must have been over 3oo emails in there!”

  Pain is clear in his features. “I needed someone to talk to…after Bo. You know what a train wreck I was.”

  “And you couldn’t have talked to me?” My voice cracks, and I stifle another cry.

  “I needed someone else…someone who wasn’t around during my childhood, someone who didn’t know Bo, someone who was an outsider.”

  The thought of him wanting or needing anyone else blurs my vision even more. “Well you can have her then!” I shoot back before finally brushing past Parker and out of his room.

  2

  She is broken like I was so badly before. The pain she feels mirrors the emotions I felt after losing Bo. It’s probably heightened from Ciera Nelson’s passing a couple of months ago. They became fast friends and spent plenty of time together before she died. Madalynne helped her mother with the funeral arrangements.

  She’s pushing me away, the same way I did to her when Bo died—except I realized it was the biggest mistake of my life. My life makes no sense without her.

  I’ve been dating Madalynne Johnson for a little over three years, and she makes my world go ’round. The thought of losing her feels like being suffocated. I can’t imagine a day without her big brown eyes, her naturally beautiful chocolate brown hair, or her captivating smile. She lights up a room as soon as she enters. I don’t feel worthy of her, but I never stop trying. We’ve been through hell and high water, but with the passing of her brother, I’m unsure we can make it out unscathed.

  He was killed by a roadside bomb while deployed in Lebanon.

  I always looked up to Mason, almost like a brother. He was the closest thing I had to it after Bo’s passing. Losing Mason has been rough on the both of us, Maddy and me…but especially her. Her light has faded, her happiness and joy destroyed in that explosion. And it’s just the beginning of her parents’ marital problems.

  She’s pushing me away because of her unexplained guilt over his death. My brother always told me she was the one and if I wanted her, I would have to fight for her…his words are the only thing I live by.

  I don’t show it enough, but Maddy means the world to me. She was there for me in my darkest hours and I credit my life to her. She doesn’t know the extent to which she changed me, but I want to make sure she never goes a day questioning my love or feelings for her; it’s the least I can do.

  There’s only one other person I can share myself entirely with, and her name is Jacqueline Blunt. We’ve never met in person, but we began an internet friendship a few years ago, shortly after Bo committed suicide. Being thirteen years old at the time, my life was changed forever. I was the one who found him after coming home from school that day. He was hanging from the ceiling in the tub.

  The vision of his lifeless body has never left my mind. In the beginning, the screams were echoing so loud and hard I didn’
t realize they were coming from me. When my mind finally willed my legs to move, I ran around the house frantically searching for something to cut him down. After I cut him loose, he fell to the floor in a lifeless heap. I just held him there, crying, cursing at him, and asking him why he left me. His body was blue, so incredibly blue.

  He was only two years older than me. At the time, there wasn’t any indication of what was so terrible that he felt the need to take his own life. I blamed myself for not being able to prevent it, not seeing the signs.

  But Bo left a suicide letter, one that will be etched into my brain forever. He wrote of his struggles with his sexuality, the torment his peers put him through, things he had kept hidden for far too long. Bullying happened in our school, but students and teachers turned a blind eye. It was a big wake-up call for everyone, most of all me. It broke my heart that he didn’t feel comfortable coming to anyone in my family for help or guidance. He always made it seem so easy, life; I came to understand he had been living a lie.

  My family was blindsided. The killer part about it was that it wouldn’t have mattered to me or my mother…but my father was a loose cannon. There’s no telling how he would have reacted.

  It really did a number on my parents. At first, they couldn’t stand the sight of each other, each secretly blaming the other. They slept in separate bedrooms for almost a year after Bo. Only recently have they been sharing the same bedroom and things seem almost civil.

  I shut down almost entirely after finding my brother, isolating myself and pushing the closest people away from me. There was a time I didn’t even see Maddy, an entire summer spent avoiding her just because she reminded me of Bo. I couldn’t stand to be around her. The memories of all of us as children building forts and making up plays haunted me. She was the only person who knew losing Bo would turn my world upside down.