Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) Read online

  My jaw tenses and I grind my teeth together. I have no idea what he is doing here but I wish he would just leave me alone.

  Mrs. Gregory returns and I’ve never been more happy or thankful in my life than to see her familiar white Ked’s making their way back into her office. “Topher Carlson, what can I do for you today?”

  “I’m just here for my Vicodin,” Topher replies. A few months ago he was in a pretty bad skiing accident which really messed up his back. His doctors have had him on Vicodin ever since. I’m pretty sure he’s all healed by now and that he has been selling his pills because I’ve caught a few shady transactions happening the past couple of weeks. I’m curious to how he’s been managing to fool Mrs. Gregory as he is required to take the medication in her presence.

  “Well, take a seat. I’ll be right with you.” Mrs. Gregory turns her attention back to me and my injured knee.

  I’ve mastered the art of knowing when eyes are on me without even having to see it. I know the feeling all too well. I can feel Topher’s blue-green eyes boring into my skull.

  “I saw the video,” Mrs. Gregory says softly. “Kids can be vicious.”

  I nod slightly, my cheeks burning up. I love Mrs. Gregory’s concern, but not when Topher Carlson is witness to it. I feel extremely uncomfortable. “It’s okay,” I reply out of habit.

  She looks up into my eyes from her crouched position. “No, it’s not Ciera. You know, you could tell me who did this to you…we could speak to the principal about them.

  My eyes tear away from hers and again to the floor. I can feel Topher’s glare burning me. “No, it’s okay…I’m not a tattle tale.”

  She sighs loudly as she finishes securing the bandage over my skinned knee. “Why do you always protect them?”

  My stomach is in complete and utter knots. “I don’t,” I say so quietly she has to strain to hear me.

  “Well, the offer is on the table. And there is not an expiration date. Okay?” She stands, disposing of the excess trash from my bandage.

  I nod lightly, keeping my eyes low and averted from Topher’s chilling gaze.

  God, I hope this doesn’t land me in even more trouble…

  Chapter Three

  Topher

  It’s been three days since I found out about my fathers…lifestyle. He’s been trying to speak with me ever since, but I just can’t. I need some time first to process what the hell this means for me and how it will change my life. I sound like a selfish prick, but I can’t help it. I’ve been staying at Joe’s. His parents don’t care what the fuck he does so it’s been nice to simply be able to come and go as I please.

  “So, are you going to tell me what happened?” Joe asks as I drive us both to school in the morning.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask defensively.

  “Look, I don’t mind you staying the night, bro, but we haven’t had sleepovers like this since we were in middle school. I know something is up,” he replies, staring me down with his dark brown eyes.

  I sigh loudly. “It’s nothing, really. My father and I just…had a disagreement.”

  I park the car in the lot and grab my backpack from behind my seat as we hop out.

  “Well, stay as long as you want…” Joe trails off.

  “I’m going home tonight, don’t worry.” Even with his previous statement, I know he can’t wait to get me out of his hair. Probably because he wants a chance to fuck my girlfriend.

  I hear him sigh slightly, and I know I am right.

  As we enter the halls of our school, I glance at all our peers, so happy and joyous. Seemingly, without a care in the world. When did things get so fucked up?

  As we near our lockers, I take notice of Sophia leaning against mine. Or is it Joe’s? I’m not really sure anymore. I watch as she shares a secretive silent stare with my best friend before flicking her eyes to meet mine and a smile breaking out onto her lips.

  She really is easy on the eyes. The problem is how aware of that fact she is. She knows every guy in the school wants a piece of her. It makes her feel powerful. Her long light brown locks cascade down her back, meeting her waistline. Her green eyes are round and full, her lips plump and red. She is wearing what appears to be some sort of corset with a mini-skirt. I’m surprised the school even allows it.

  “Hey babe, how was your weekend?” She pecks me on the lips and then watches me intently as I open up my locker.

  I shrug. “It was fine. Played a lot of video games and hung out with Joe.”

  Her eyes flick to him. “That explains a lot.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “Oh, nothing.” She shakes her head dismissively.

  I know they are having some kind of silent conversation but I could give two flying fucks about it. I close my locker and lean against it as we kill some time before first period.

  “Dude!” Joe punches me in the shoulder. “I forgot to tell you!” Excitedly he pulls his phone out and waves it in front of my face.

  “What?” I ask, utterly bored. My eyes focus in on the screen and I realize it is a YouTube video.

  “She’s gone platinum!” he exclaims animatedly.

  He’s right. Our video from the other day has over 25,000 views and it’s only been up for a couple of days.

  “Nice,” I respond, handing him the phone back.

  Then I notice our subject from the video walking toward the lockers on the other side of the hall. I’ve never really paid much attention to her before. We’ve gone to the same school basically our entire lives, but fuck me if I even know her name.

  “Oh shit!” Joe exclaims. “It’s the star!” He runs up to her flashing his phone in her face. “You’re famous!”

  I watch as she doesn’t even bother to look up from the ground. Keeping her head and eyes low and trained away from his. She doesn’t even say a word as she silently opens her locker.

  I take in her clothes. She looks like the poster child for the 90’s. All of her clothes are so outdated and old, I can only guess she shops at Goodwill or wears hand-me-downs. Not to mention, her clothes don’t even seem to fit her right. Loose in all the wrong places and tight in others. I can’t help but chuckle at her overall appearance.

  “Topher, did you hear what I said?” Sophia’s obnoxious voice breaks into my thoughts.

  “What?” I ask, switching my glance to meet hers.

  “I said, when are you going to ask me to the Winter Formal? It better be something beautiful. I heard Jackson asked Olivia last year by…”

  I can’t listen anymore. I tune her out and simply focus on the parting of her lips. She would be a hell of a lot prettier if she came with a mute button.

  I turn my head back to the exchange happening between Joe and the star of his video. Her straight blond hair covers her face as she continues to stay mute.

  “What? Cat got your tongue?” Joe continues to press.

  “Joe,” I call out, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Let’s go.”

  He shoots a quick smile toward her. “Until next time, Cinderella.”

  As we all make our way toward our first period class, I shoot a quick glance at Joe. “Why do you even bother with her, man?”

  “Who? Ciera Nelson? Have you not looked at her? She is screaming for attention. I bet our exchanges are the best thing to ever happen in her mundane life. I bet she dreams of it. I’m just giving her what she secretly wants…”

  I roll my eyes as we enter our advanced English class. I don’t even know how we made it in this class. I’m still convinced it’s some kind of fluke. Joe can barely speak English let alone write it and Sophia is dumb as a doornail. Me on the other hand? If I actually put in the effort, I’m sure I could scrape by…but I don’t see the point. We are all averaging D’s right now and sufficiently happy with it. As long as we don’t flunk out we can continue with our after school activities such as football and cheerleading. I’ve been on the football team since freshman year. It is honestly the one thing I love wholeheartedly in my
life. There is nothing like being able to tackle people especially when I have frustrations I need to work out.

  We take our seats and moments before the bell rings I notice Ciera, the homely looking girl Joe loves to mess with, slip in virtually unnoticed. Everyone in the class is preoccupied in side conversations as I see her take her seat right in the front. I had no clue I even had any classes with her. Shows how much I actually pay attention. Another nerdy looking male with brown hair and glasses takes a seat right beside her. I recognize him. Mack Turner. We used to be neighbors growing up…I remember spending quite a lot of time with him in elementary school playing video games. As time went on, we grew apart…naturally. We didn’t hang out with the same crowd, we didn’t live next door anymore, and eventually, we stopped acknowledging one another at all.

  I watch as the two engage in a conversation and she actually lifts her head and looks him in the eyes. This intrigues me. I find myself wondering what in the world could they be discussing. What do people like them even strive for in life?

  “Good morning class!” Mrs. Joyner walks in, setting her belongings on her desk. “How was your weekend?”

  She gives everyone a chance to continue conversing loudly before she eventually quiets us and jumps into our lesson plan for the day. “Did you guys finish your essays?”

  We had homework? I didn’t even open my backpack over the weekend. Guess my mind was just too preoccupied with everything going on at home. I hope she doesn’t call on me.

  I look over at Joe. “Did you do the homework?”

  He shakes his head. “No way, man. I was hanging with you all weekend.”

  I chuckle and switch my eyes to Sophia’s. “How about you?”

  She smiles, slipping a freshly typed paper onto my desk. “I had some extra time this weekend.”

  Hmm…I wonder why.

  For the first time in my life I’m not dreading my long day ahead. I’m actually welcoming it if it means a distraction. I know I can’t avoid my father forever and that I will eventually have to talk to him about everything…but I am going to milk this time as best as possible until then.

  Chapter Four

  Ciera

  Apart from the morning and a bathroom mishap I found myself in, it’s actually been surprisingly an easy day. Not something I am very accustomed to. I can hear the loud banter from inside our apartment before I even get too close. It sounds like Rose and Wesley are arguing excitedly over something.

  I enter the apartment and my eyes lock onto the living room. Sure enough, my sister and brother are wrestling over our small handheld radio. “It’s my turn!” Wesley yelps. “You’ve already had your turn!”

  Rose snatches the radio out of his hands and goes running over the back of our aging couch and into the small kitchen.

  “Ciera! Make her give it back!” Wesley shouts at me.

  I sigh as I drop my backpack loudly on the ground.

  “Rose,” I call out as I walk slowly into the kitchen. “Wes said you already had your turn. You want to give it back to him?”

  She grips the radio like her life depends on it. “No! I hate his music.”

  I can’t help the smile that plays upon my lips. I hear shuffling in the bedroom and then remember that I need to be regulating. “Guys,” I say softly, yet sternly. “You know Mom is sleeping. She has to work tonight. You guys need to keep it down. If you can’t agree on a station to listen to, then I’d be more than happy to take it away from both of you.”

  “No!” They both cry out in unison.

  I look between the two. “Alright, then you guys need to compromise and decide on something you both like, and remember, keep it down.”

  I walk by the bedroom and notice my mother tucked into bed. Her eyes are closed, but I can tell she isn’t asleep. Quietly, I slip inside and lay down beside her on top of the covers.

  “Ciera,” she says softly.

  “Hey Mom,” I reply, turning so I am facing her.

  “Did you have a good day?” she asks, not bothering to open her eyes.

  “Yep,” I respond. I don’t tell her about my troubles with school. We already have so much to deal with as it is, I don’t want to stress her out even more.

  It’s been difficult being around her the past couple of months; her eyes always filled with sorrow and heartache. I hate the fact that I am the one making her sad and I can’t do anything about it. I worry about how she will handle it, how she will be able to overcome the obstacle that is approaching in our lives. I know she is strong, but she is one person. I wish she had more of a support system.

  I forgot how nice it feels to sleep on an actual bed. I shift my body, making myself more comfortable. I’ve been sleeping on a couch for the past six years. My mother is all we have and she works her ass off to make ends meet. I’m thankful we even have a roof over our heads.

  When we found out, she tried to baby me, basically forcing me to sleep in the bed. But, I don’t want to draw more attention to myself than necessary. We haven’t told Rose and Wesley anything yet. They’re too young to have to deal with something of such a high caliber. I worry about the time we can’t avoid it anymore. I love seeing them blissfully happy.

  I’m sure it’s not exactly ideal to share the bed with two kids, but it’s better than nothing. And I never hear her complain. I swear she’s like Wonder Woman.

  She works graveyard shift at a bank call center. Every day she has to listen to people complain, bitch, yell, and moan, and then she comes home and has a handful to deal with because of my siblings. I try to help out where I can and not be a burden for her. Because we don’t have enough money for a sitter, I help out when I can. But I also have a job that I’ve been working at for the past few years. I work five hours a couple of times a week and then sixteen hours during the weekend. It’s minimum wage and really not a lot, but every penny goes toward our bills. Sometimes we find ourselves with a little extra money…but that is always spent on Rose and Wesley. Although we don’t have a television or internet or even cell phones…I’ve been thankful that over time we have been able to get them a radio and even a small handheld Gameboy. They fight more than they use either device, but I’m happy they even have the option.

  I know my mother will have to start getting ready to leave within the next few hours, so I decide to take advantage of the small amount of time I have and close my eyes for a few moments.

  * * *

  It’s halfway through my school week and I’m looking forward to work today. Not that I don’t look forward to it every time. Most people dread the thought of going into work. I actually enjoy the work and my co-workers. They don’t treat me like everyone at school does…instead they treat me like a real human being.

  It’s lunchtime and I make a quick pit stop to the restroom before I head to meet Mack. I can hear loud chatter as I enter. My stomach ties up in knots as I realize Sophia Thompson and Alyssa Justice are standing inside, applying lip-gloss.

  Both cheerleaders, they are in the hierarchy of the A-Team. They’ve had it easy their entire lives. Popularity, friends, money. I don’t think they’ve had to work for anything they have. They are both dressed in their skimpy cheerleading outfits as today is game day.

  They stop talking abruptly as I enter and simply glare at me. I keep my eyes adverted as I quietly slip into a stall. As I close the door behind me, they resume talking.

  “Did you hear about that YouTube video?” Sophia asks. I can see them through the slits in the stall doors.